If you have been reading my blog from the first post until this one you are getting my drift, as they say. Hopefully, once I return the broken camera this nice salesman at the Source in the Ottawa Rideau Centre conned me into buying, and I replace it with a functional video camera which I will buy in a different customer orientated store, you can come face to face with me and the Free Farm animals on utube as I dare to bare all in a series of amateur video clips. But now, for this rant, let me tell you that I believe, as a single man, I qualify for raising the delicate topic of the importance of family stability in navigating yourself on Free Farm.


There are some couples who have the notion that a change of scenery is all that is required to “make things right.”




At least in my view it is often wrong.


There is the expression, “wherever you go there you are” that comes to mind. There is even a book with that title, a good read at that.


If you are the sort that has a personality that is addictive, for example, say you are a boozer, you definitely should not apply for a ride on Free Farm. Uh uh. IF anything, you will be driven to drink more, not less.


This is a rather important consideration in challenging or thinking through your motivations for applying for this non paying job. What is it exactly that is driving you? If it is the animals and being around animals and anchoring yourself in rural society, then maybe you are looking in the right direction.


I saw a movie in Ottawa yesterday afternoon. A friend drove me. It was a rare, first time in three years event that I pried myself away. The movie was “After the Storm, “ a very hard movie for a western audience to consume mind you. You really need the cultural experience of living for some time in Japan. At the heart of it, the story line involves a modern typical Japanese family, It would appear it was solely produced for the Japanese market but here of course you had sub titles. It involves one urban family where the central character is a best selling novelist turned private detective, who mirrors the life story of his late father who left behind an angry wife who was forced to live her family life in a less than desirable apartment when money was spent on gambling. The central character continues. In the image of his late father, to be consumed with gambling in all forms and as such has nothing left to pay for his alimony obligations.. The novelist’s wife has dumped him. His mother, full of scorn for her dead beat son and longing to have a grandchild in her life as a widow, makes a valiant attempt to put the two and their one son back into a marriage. She does so during a typical violent storm. The film was very endearing for me, having been married to a Japanese woman for twenty years (and shucks, we wasn’t even related!), and having run a private detective agency for a long time and being an author. So close to home. I just had to see it. You need to understand how a lot of men are raised in Japan and the cultural institutions, the gaming rooms, the way some mothers raise their basket case sons to ensure they have to be taken care of by a “mommy figure” to survive. The man’s wife tells us she had a baby in the hopes it would get her husband to quit gambling and pay attention to their precarious financial situation and when he does not, she bolts, never to return. Such is life.


There are quiet a few applicants of Free Farm who are sending me long revealing letters of their life stories and how they were either alone or wanted to leave a marriage and shack up with some nice animals. Some have actually written to me with details of how they were victims of sexual abuse or other tragic traumatic events and want to apply to heal their trauma. They have the illusion that somehow taking care of a sea of creatures, or joining the French Legion for that matter, will correct the woes in their life.


Having gone through the experience of ending up on my ass alone in such a setting, with a tidal wave of chores to tend to, let me suggest otherwise.


It ain’t so.


So if you are in that frame of mind, and think that the grass is greener on this side of the coin, perhaps this shouldn’t be your first choice.


When you get down to writing me a letter and wonder how I am screening, put yourself in my place. If you are in your 70s for example, perhaps I might worry that you will not outlive my cows. I am looking for long term you realize. Or if there are big red flags in your life situation, perhaps I might not be as interested in you as another family applying. I need to see long term stability and to avoid someone else following in my downward trajectory.


I did invite a couple over to Free Farm the other day. They passed the smell test over the telephone. It was interesting. I began by asking how they planned to handle their financial affairs. The man on the left told me he was the head of a major federal government department with a promising big fat pension to boot.


I quipped to his partner, Perhaps you might wish to ADOPT ME? Good catch. Don’t let him get away”


Then I turned to the man on the right who was dressed as the wife and asked a penetrating question.


“How long have you two lovebirds been a single page?”


The ball game was over with his revealing answer.


“A little over a month.”


NEXT please.

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